curses

please excuse my terrible canva skills.

Interlude: Strawberry Stain, Part 2

Erica, Free

I have an idea. Caitlyn asked our landlord if we could install cameras on the front and back door to keep an eye on Todd. She thinks he was messing with our back door the other night, or at least someone was. 

I’m glad for this new development. First of all, because whether it was Todd or some other person running around testing doors at night, we should have a camera. Second, because I’ve been pushing for this since Todd started messing with me. Third, because it gives me an in. 

A few months ago, I bought a book of scrapbook paper for a crafting project. I didn’t need the whole book, but I had a coupon and figured it would come in handy. When I saw the cameras on my way home the other day, I thought a thank you note would be the perfect opportunity. 

There is a strawberry-printed sheet of paper, but I thought that was a little on the nose. I selected one with a nice, subtle floral print on one side and an almost wallpaper-y polka dot print on the other and set about making the card.

Here’s how I make homemade cards out of scrapbook paper:

  1. Select the appropriate paper: would I have liked to use the strawberry paper? Yes. But, the more I think about it, the absence of strawberries is kind of the point. 
  2. Draw/write out the design for the front of the card on plain, white paper: I just use printer paper, but you can use thicker paper if you don’t want the scrapbook paper showing through. This really helps the design pop on a busy print.
  3. Cut out the design: I used an xacto blade to get as close to the design as I could. Sometimes, I just use scissors and then add scrapbooking stickers to the edges where the white paper shows through.
  4. Glue or tape your design to the front of the card: I have some double-sided tape from my previous endeavor that works great. 
  5. Cut out a rectangle of white (or another solid color) paper that fits nicely on the inside of your card. Write your message on it.
  6. Glue or tape your message to the inside of your card: If you’re using glue, make sure you leave the card open so the glue can dry without gluing the card together!
  7. Send your elevated homemade card to your recipient!

Easy enough!

Stay tuned for next time when I teach you how to put a simple curse in your homemade card! (only works for beings already born with magical powers.) (And no, I’m not going to curse my landlord’s firstborn child or anything like that. I’m pretty sure his kids are my age. And that’s just not how I roll.

-Erica

The Complex Nature of Curses (Repost)

Ella, Review

July is a free review month! This post would normally be for Patreon subscribers, but is being reposted for free. If you’re not a Patreon subscriber, this is what the Patreon posts are like. If you are a Patreon subscriber and have been wanting to share this post, now you can! (please do).

Like any kind of magic, the specific power with which Erica and I are endowed requires great care in its use. We cannot “curse” others according to a specific spell with more or less predictable results. The magic we carry within us depends solely on our intentions and necessitates great respect and regard for any possible consequences. I say this as an explanation for why I don’t use my own magic very often, and am focusing on other areas of Erica’s life before I teach her how to use her gift.

Let us take a situation that is relatively low-stakes, but highly aggravating scenario: You wake up early on Saturday to beat the laundry rush in your building, only to find that someone has left their clothes in the washer since last night*.  An understandable first reaction is to curse the person who did that, usually with words. After all, you dragged your week of laundry down three flights of stairs only to have to leave it unattended in the laundry room or drag it back up again. And you have your whole day planned. Now you can’t even properly readjust your schedule because you can’t predict when this person will wake up and switch their laundry.

But the hurling of curses should be limited to a few choice words under your breath. While it might be appealing, for those with any kind of magic powers, to curse the lingering clothes, there is not enough information. You might be cursing someone who came down with a sudden stomach bug or had some kind of family emergency after they started their laundry the previous night. Or, you could be cursing someone who go up a half hour earlier than you to do laundry and will be down in just a few minutes.

If this is a repeated occurrence and there is sufficient evidence, perhaps a distinctive piece of clothing, that it is the same person, the temptation to curse may grow. First there is the temptation to curse the laundry itself, which should be avoided. Like the temptation to throw a piece of gum or a broken pen in the washer, all this does is invite the now angered laundry-leaver to mess with your laundry. Or worse, you have been needlessly cruel toward an otherwise delightful person. Punitive curses are momentarily satisfying, but accomplish little in the way of tangible changes in behavior. After all, if a person is already passively inconsiderate, punishing them for an action they have no memory of may only worsen their general demeanor, making them actively rude or cruel.

The two remaining options are to compel this person to be more considerate or to find a way to remove this inconvenience from your life. The former is almost impossible, leaving the latter as the best option, although still quite labor-intensive. First, you must identify the laundry-leaver. This can be difficult in a building where neighbors are seldom seen.

Next, you must learn about them. This requires more than discovering what kind of ruse is necessary to get some cursed baked goods in the door. We already discussed the futility and cruelty of punitive curses. You need to know what you really want out of the situation. It may be tempting to send them somewhere that they will have to contend with an inconvenient laundry situation or worse, but once again cruelty is never truly satisfying. What’s best for you, from hundreds of years of experience, is the best possible life for them, separate from you. You will need to get to know them. Start with a seemingly chance meeting, find some common ground. Have a reason to speak again.

When you are in regular contact, discover more about their hopes and aspirations. Have they always dreamed of moving to the desert? Maybe they miss having a yard? Be open to the opportunities they reveal to you. Look for something that would benefit them and benefit you by allowing them to explore opportunities outside the building. How you coax them toward that opportunity is up to you. Maybe you give them a confidence boost before a job interview. Maybe you make them more perceptive to job announcements out of state. Either way, choose carefully. Pushing them toward an opportunity they are unlikely to take advantage of could lead to disappointment for them and for you. And success in this endeavor does not guarantee that the next tenant will be more considerate.

Of course, you could simply wait and do your laundry later.

-Ella

*If you are the kind of person who does this, please understand I bear you no ill will, but if you cannot stay awake for another half hour, is it worth starting your laundry at all? The worst that waiting could bring is that some earlybird beats you to the washer, but then you will only have a half hour or so to wait. We are usually much more punctual.