I sure hope so. You’ve been such a boring lump lately, which is not to make your pain all about me, but more to say I’ve noticed you aren’t yourself. You used to look forward to playing with us, but now we have to goad you into it. And you probably noticed we stopped doing that as much. It’s been mostly snuggles and biscuits lately. If we could do more, we would.
Good news is it’s looking up! I can’t tell you what it’s going to be like exactly but you will be free from the pain you’ve been putting up with for so long. You probably won’t even recognize the feeling afterward. It’ll be so different from what you’re experiencing now that you’ll be in entirely new territory. Whatever it is, it will be a step in the right direction, and we will be with you every step of the way.
-Harry
*You know the drill, I’m no a tarot expert. This is just for fun
Question: Will I make new friends outside of work? I moved to a new city a year ago and i have a bunch of work friends, but have struggles to meet people otherwise
Card: Two of Wands, Reversed
You’re probably trying too hard. You have a lot of promising beginnings that lead nowhere and you’re letting it get to you. The thing is, that’s how friendship works. You can’t really go out and seek a friend. Take it from me. I don’t seek anyone out. Everyone always comes to me and the ones who put up with my aloofness are the ones who are worthy of my time.
I’m not saying act like a cat. You’re not as cute. But keep hanging out with your work friends. Deepen those friendships. And then find groups that do activities you like. Go to some meetups. Enjoy the low-key social interaction. See if there’s someone you connect with, and go for it. It’ll take some time, but you’ll be fine.
-Dash
*This is just for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a real tarot reading.
Question: A black outdoor cat is screaming at my cat’s window every night. What does that mean?
Card: Ace of Pentacles
This is just the right amount of relationship for your cat. Maybe the black cat wants more, but your cat is fine admiring beauty from afar. She knows just how much she has at home and isn’t looking for any more than to enjoy the attention of someone pretty from the comfort of her own home. She also finds it very entertaining to drive another cat crazy. We can all be a little antagonistic at times. Just be glad it’s not directed at you.
-Harry
*This is just for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a real tarot reading.
A new question, this time from a friend: What is my biggest obstacle right now and how do I move past it?
The cards: Ten of Cups Reversed (I forgot to take a picture for this one and the next one)
Harry’s Answer: Your biggest obstacle this year is an interpersonal one. Someone you thought you were close to will expose themselves as a fair weather friend. This happens as people get older and lives evolve. It will feel like a betrayal at first, but try not to take it as such. That will only sink you into a dark spiral. Treasure the friends you have. Make new ones. Put your best self forward. Living well is the best revenge.
Dash’s Answer: This is why it helps to always be on your guard. I don’t mean never letting anyone in (not for you, at least. But that is how I operate). I just mean that people change, even if you’ve known them for a while. Treat every interaction as an opportunity to learn more about the person you’re interacting with and when you learn something that changes your mind about them, be open to it. It will help you in the long run, I promise.
Welcome to a new segment of the blog where we, your cats, will read your tarot cards. You have the tarot deck that you never use. We have a lot of time on our hands. We will take your questions and interpret them to the best of our abilities.
Without further ado, here is Erica’s latest question: What will the year ahead look like for me?
Dash’s Answer: It is already halfway through the year. But whether you mean the rest of this year or the next year starting now, the outlook is not good. The work stress will continue. There will be speculation about a brighter future, but that will ultimately amount to nothing. You will be disappointed, but ultimately this is for the best. Be wary of job postings that seem too good to be true. If you do decide to job search, be glad when your applications are met with silence and listen to any doubt you have in an interview. Gig work is like pyrite. Do not be tempted.
Instead of new job or monetary opportunities, find community with your friends and your cats. Use your current stability to sort out any health issues before jumping into a new opportunity.
-Dash
*This is just for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a real tarot reading.
I barely mentioned the process of redoing one of my birdcages in my last post, but both of them ended up requiring quite a bit of work. The first one was more straightforward. As I discussed last time, I sanded it down and repaint it. The second one did not require any painting, but I wanted to cut a hole in the bottom so that my lemon tree could grow up into the birdcage. This required help from a friend with power tools.
I repainted my first birdcage while still deep in the throes of a DIY blog addiction. This was my first DIY project, and I became immediately acquainted with the very unglamorous side DIY. I wanted what all the bloggers had, a light airy workspace and impressive array of power tools. But they had the benefit of being firmly established bloggers with sponsorships and, often, a second household income.
I laid out my dirty camping tarp in my dingy parking spot and got to work. At this point, I did not have any power tools. There’s no outlet near my parking spot. I took off the door of the base is by hand, which was not hard, and sanded the entire thing down by hand, which was. I primed the whole thing one night after work, trying my best not to get any dirt or cobwebs mixed in with the paint. The next night, I painted the whole thing green. A second coat went on in the morning, the fixtures were installed later in the left the afternoon. After three days of parking on the street, I was able to move the stand up to my apartment, move my car back into the parking space, and move my plants into their new home.
Eventually, my plant collection began to outgrow the first birdcage. I bought another one, this time with a plastic bottom instead of metal so that I could cut a hole in it and place the lemon tree’s pot below the cage, allowing the tree to grow up into the birdcage. I thought it would be relatively easy. My plan was to heat up a kitchen knife and stab it through the plastic to melt it (I know, a terrible idea). Once I had perforated a full circle, I would just punch out the hole in the bottom of the cage. But the plastic turned out to be much thicker than I expected. I turned to a friend who does have power tools and she brought this Dremel over to try to help me. Even with power tools the process proved to be more difficult than expected. We broke a number of product before we finally succeeded. The result is a bit sloppy but highly functional. No although that original lemon tree house died (RAD) plant collection, like a gas, has expanded to fill the space provided.
My next adventure with these cages was grow lights. The space available for the cages and the layout of my apartment meant that both cages required grow lights. I started with a pair of LED lights that simply did not provide enough light for all the plants in the cages. They were also not particularly attractive, so I looked for an option that was both functional and aesthetically appealing. With very little research, I ordered a string of cafe lights for each cage and several grow light bulbs. I thought this would be a cheaper and less-cluttered look than the number of clamp-on grow lights that I would need for all my plants.
I was excited to see that the grow light bulbs fit in the string of cafe lights and lit up, but they immediately grew very hot. A few quick texts later to a friend who knows much more about electricity than I do and it was clear I had created a fire hazard.
Thanks to my hubris, only one string of lights was returnable. The other found a home with my sister. She uses them with the intended lightbulbs.
I returned the unopened lights and purchased a set of industrial clamp lights and put the grow lights in those. The end result is that one of my birdcages is at least somewhat like I had originally planned, although with far more wires. But my plants are happy and my cats can’t eat them. That’s all I can really ask.
July is a free review month! This post would normally be for Patreon subscribers, but is being reposted for free. If you’re not a Patreon subscriber, this is what the Patreon posts are like. If you are a Patreon subscriber and have been wanting to share this post, now you can! (please do).
Would it help you, when our so-called “zoomies” disturb your sleep, to know that they serve a purpose? And I don’t mean the derisive “practice hunting.” We aren’t practicing. We are hunting something. The only issue is, we don’t yet know what.
I don’t know how to best describe it. There is nothing to see, smell, or touch. Only a feeling. When it passes through you, there is a shiver, but no chill. When it is near, it raises the hackles. I know you have felt it too. I’ve seen you react to it, although you always invent some other explanation. Harry did not understand it at first either. He thought it was just a cold spot or a draft. But it moves. Sometimes with us, sometimes against us. We do our best to keep it away from you, at least until we understand it better.
I know my argument that an unseen entity has taken up residence here is shaky at best, but I hope for two outcomes. One, that you have a satisfactory explanation for our behavior. Two, that we do our best to protect you, whether you appreciate it or not. Hopefully the following evidence as to where encounters most often occur, which you can correlate with your own observation, will strengthen my case.
Harry checks the bathtub before Erica showers
The entity can most often be found in the bathroom, particularly the bathtub. You have noticed that we often zip in and out of the tub just before you turn on the shower and will stand (or sit) guard on the counter while you use the shower. I know you notice this because you always laugh when we do. We are making sure it doesn’t come back, that you get to shower in privacy.
Harry (on shelf) and Dash (standing) have chased the entity to a high corner of the kitchen.
It likes high places, too. It will often be up in the corners of the room, next to the ceiling. Sometimes it stays near the water damage in the living room. Usually we try to chase it there, standing on the shelf by your door, pawing at the wall until we are satisfied that it will not disturb you for the rest of the evening. If we do not chase it up by the paint bubble, it will hover over you all evening, whether you’re reading, crafting, or just watching TV. We are cats. We know this hovering means it is ready to pounce.
It also follows you into the kitchen. You wonder why Harry is always at your feet while you are cooking or washing dishes. He has developed the hunting instinct, too. His favorite place to trap it is in the tiny gap under your kitchen cabinets. When you see him sitting there, staring at it all day, that is what he is doing.
Our most important job, however, is to guard you at night. We don’t know what this thing could do while you sleep. You will notice that one of us is nearly always in bed with you throughout the night. Yes, there are times when we leave you alone, but we always remain close by. I prefer to stay right by your head, just to be sure. Harry stays at your feet, on alert in case it comes too close.
Those nights when we race through the apartment, jumping from dresser to bed to floor, waking you up in the process, those are the nights we can feel it. I know you don’t like to be woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of us chasing whatever it is back to the ceiling bubble or the cabinet under the sink. I know that sometimes it takes too long for you to fall back asleep, leaving you groggy and grumpy the next day. I can only imagine the alternative is much worse.
We know there are myriad reasons why you keep us inside. We are not going to argue with those. We happily except the consolation of occasionally running up and down the hallways of your building.
The hallway is, in many ways, the perfect environment for us to exercise our bodies and our minds. The long straightaway allows us to sprint or simply amble adequate distances and the tight turns we must make when you try to catch us keep us agile. When we feel our climbing skills need some polish, there is always the staircase where we can twist in and out of the wrought iron railing or walk nimbly down the outside ledge of the stairs.
There are always new and mysterious smells for us. Sometimes they are stains on the floor, and sometimes they emanate from the other doors. Occasionally, we hear sounds from behind the doorways, too. It is always an interesting puzzle trying to figure out what they are.
When we say it all together, it seems rather obvious. But you must understand where we are coming from. One of us was an indoor cat in a previous life, but in some grand, half-vacant palace. And one of us has never been an indoor cat before. We thought we hit an indoor cat jackpot. We had a safe place to run and investigate and had so much fun giving you the slip to get out the door.
You don’t have to imagine how frightened we were the first time we heard a noise coming from the stairwell. We both have seen that mysterious locked door at the bottom of the stairs, although only a few times since you try your best not to keep us on your floor. But we both knew that must be origin of the footsteps that grew louder and louder coming up the stairs toward us.
Luckily, you were there to save us. We only had to spend a few seconds cowering at the door waiting for you to catch up with us and let us inside. But of course, our quick retreat to safety left the source of those footsteps entirely up to our imagination. Now, whenever we hear footsteps ascending the stairs, or bolts turn in one of the closed doors along the hallway, our minds turn to the worst. You might think these rare but terrifying sightings would keep us out of the hallway all together. But in fact, they make it a much more exciting adventure.
July is a free review month! This post would normally be for Patreon subscribers, but is being reposted for free. If you’re not a Patreon subscriber, this is what the Patreon posts are like. If you are a Patreon subscriber and have been wanting to share this post, now you can! (please do).
It looks like you’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the book. In Fall 2019, you adopted another cat as a companion for me, hoping we would keep each other occupied while you were at work. How naïve you were. You did not realize the world would come to a standstill and our competition for your affection would become our favorite pastime.
We have different strategies, of course. I am moody and aloof during the day. I find the highest possible vantage point and watch you like a gargoyle. At night, I become exceptionally needy. You have bills to pay on your computer? I’m sitting on the keyboard. Cooking dinner? I’m underfoot begging for every single scrap. Going to sleep? I’ll be there, right beside you, making sure you can’t move your legs while you try to fall asleep, lest you forget me.
His approach is nearly the opposite. He is purring and compliant. He rushes to you the second you walk in the door. He demands to sit on your lap while you watch TV at night. He will fetch toys you throw for him, allowing you to be doing something else in the meantime. All night, he’ll play on his own, but in the morning, he’ll be breathing in your face, reminding you that it’s breakfast time, even if your alarm hasn’t gone off yet.
We complement each other perfectly. Sometimes it’s the only thing we can agree on. Between the two of us, we can command nearly all of your attention. I wonder if you realize the irony of your situation. I did not know you when you were in high school, but I know your type. You were the kind of person who had very little sympathy for any fictional character who was involved in anything that looked remotely like a love triangle.
Now, of course, your perspective has shifted with more lived experience, a greater capacity for empathy, and a voracious appetite for rom coms. You don’t seem to realize that you’ve created that exact scenario, albeit with much lower stakes. You get all the attention and affection, but with none of the problematic expectations. Your life is still completely yours. Our needs and demands remain the same, food, water, clean litter box, engaging play. And best of all, there is no pressure to eventually choose between us. You’ve already chosen both of us.
Harry and Dash are either locked in an embrace, or locked in an eternal battle for your affection.
It’s really the perfect scenario, the opposite of a catch-22. Either we continue this way forever, and you keep your continuous source of affection, or you need us less, we bond over our shared unrequited attention and you get what you want in the first place.
Unlock with Patreon
