apartment life

I have an idea. Caitlyn asked our landlord if we could install cameras on the front and back door to keep an eye on Todd. She thinks he was messing with our back door the other night, or at least someone was.

I’m glad for this new development. First of all, because whether it was Todd or some other person running around testing doors at night, we should have a camera. Second, because I’ve been pushing for this since Todd started messing with me. Third, because it gives me an in.

A few months ago, I bought a book of scrapbook paper for a crafting project. I didn’t need the whole book, but I had a coupon and figured it would come in handy. When I saw the cameras on my way home the other day, I thought a thank you note would be the perfect opportunity.

There is a strawberry-printed sheet of paper, but I thought that was a little on the nose. I selected one with a nice, subtle floral print on one side and an almost wallpaper-y polka dot print on the other and set about making the card.

Here’s how I make homemade cards out of scrapbook paper:

Select the appropriate paper: would I have liked to use the strawberry paper? Yes. But, the more I think about it, the absence of strawberries is kind of the point.
Draw/write out the design for the front of the card on plain, white paper: I just use printer paper, but you can use thicker paper if you don’t want the scrapbook paper showing through. This really helps the design pop on a busy print.
Cut out the design: I used an xacto blade to get as close to the design as I could. Sometimes, I just use scissors and then add scrapbooking stickers to the edges where the white paper shows through.
Glue or tape your design to the front of the card: I have some double-sided tape from my previous endeavor that works great.
Cut out a rectangle of white (or another solid color) paper that fits nicely on the inside of your card. Write your message on it.
Glue or tape your message to the inside of your card: If you’re using glue, make sure you leave the card open so the glue can dry without gluing the card together!
Send your elevated homemade card to your recipient!

Easy enough!

Stay tuned for next time when I teach you how to put a simple curse in your homemade card! (only works for beings already born with magical powers.) (And no, I’m not going to curse my landlord’s firstborn child or anything like that. I’m pretty sure his kids are my age. And that’s just not how I roll.

-Erica

In all the years I’ve lived at this apartment, my landlord has never once done anything to the little patch of dirt where I keep my garden. I’ve ripped up the groundcover where I want to put my plants and done my best to eradicate the poison ivy, but there’s not much I can do about the honeysuckle besides cut it down when I remember to.

Well someone came out and sprayed it last week. I didn’t realize it until a couple days later when the leaves of my garden plants started bleaching and turning papery.

I thought it was my own neglect until I saw the honeysuckle on the other side of the driveway had also been sprayed.

Some of my plants, the kale and basil, will die. Some, like the strawberries, I don’t feel comfortable eating anymore since I don’t know what they were sprayed with.

The kicker is that, while pretty much my entire garden got sprayed, in areas where it is just the groundcover and honeysuckle, only the honeysuckle got sprayed. And I was really looking forward to eating those strawberries.

It’s not like they were great strawberries. They were little and tart, but they were mine. I tended to them and watched them grow and they were perfect over vanilla ice cream. I still can, but they will be tainted with glyphosate or whatever chemical they used.

There has to be some way I can get back at them without raising too much suspicion. I do like this apartment and don’t want to have to move. But Ella is out of town, which means I have a little more leeway in how I exercise my powers.

It’s one of the first rules of fairy tales: Don’t mess with a witch’s garden.

-Erica

All Things Marceleste

Here to anti-influence you

Interlude: Strawberry Stain, Part 2

Interlude: Strawberry Stain, Part 1