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So much social media these days, or at least the social media I read over your shoulder, is concerned with the concept of “aesthetic.” Back in my time, we would have referred to it as “style,” although aesthetic seems to be more narrowly defined. In your case, it seems to mean an Instagram feed full of pastels and leatherbound books and the breeze blowing through embroidered curtains.

I see you looking at these pictures and then at your own apartment and sighing. No, you don’t have a place in your apartment that’s a perfect background for photos, but that’s okay. Yes, your shelves still hold modern books with mismatched covers and *gasp* some DVDs that you still hang on to. That’s all okay.

Creating a cohesive environment takes time and money, both of which you have in short supply. A complete overhaul is out of the question, not to mention wasteful considering much of what you have is still perfectly useful. And even though you know deep down, you still need reminding that just because it took you an instant to look at a picture of a perfectly set table or swoon-worthy bookshelf does not mean that it took an instant to put together.

Remember, you’re starting where you are, and that’s someone who’s just a few years out of college. You still have an apartment full of thrift store furniture that you bought because it was cheap and you just needed furniture. Or its your first real piece of furniture that you bought new from the store and you don’t want to let go just yet. Either way, there is a good reason your apartment looks a bit eclectic and a good reason to get every little bit of use out of that furniture. You also like to make things yourself and display gifts from other people, two tendencies which can be difficult to incorporate into a cohesive aesthetic.

While these tendencies might mean that it takes you longer to put together a room you’re satisfied with, they have many hidden benefits. Yes, it is frustrating to watch packages and packages of homewares arrive for your neighbors while you’re not in the best financial spot, but waiting until something needs replacing will be cheaper in the long run. Whether it’s propagating your own houseplants or an inventive way to make your DVDs look like fancy books, you’ll always have a better story than “I wanted it so I bought it.” This is not to say that anyone who has already arrived at their own sense of style or has decided to completely renovate their living room to cope with quarantine is wrong. It’s just that every path has their advantages, whether or not they’re immediately appealing to Instagram.

What’s more, taking time to really develop an aesthetic means it can continue to evolve as time goes on. While certain sentimental objects will remain staples, you can replace things with something that both matches your aesthetic and is significant to you. Don’t think of the end result as the final look of the room, but rather the criteria you use when choosing new items for your apartment. Your apartment will never look quite as polished as the pictures you sigh at on rainy days, but it will be vastly more interesting, especially for me.

-Carolyn