Adopt Your Very Own YA Love Triangle (Repost)

July is a free review month! This post would normally be for Patreon subscribers, but is being reposted for free. If you’re not a Patreon subscriber, this is what the Patreon posts are like. If you are a Patreon subscriber and have been wanting to share this post, now you can! (please do).

It looks like you’ve fallen for the oldest trick in the book. In Fall 2019, you adopted another cat as a companion for me, hoping we would keep each other occupied while you were at work. How naïve you were. You did not realize the world would come to a standstill and our competition for your affection would become our favorite pastime.

We have different strategies, of course. I am moody and aloof during the day. I find the highest possible vantage point and watch you like a gargoyle. At night, I become exceptionally needy. You have bills to pay on your computer? I’m sitting on the keyboard. Cooking dinner? I’m underfoot begging for every single scrap. Going to sleep? I’ll be there, right beside you, making sure you can’t move your legs while you try to fall asleep, lest you forget me.

His approach is nearly the opposite. He is purring and compliant. He rushes to you the second you walk in the door. He demands to sit on your lap while you watch TV at night. He will fetch toys you throw for him, allowing you to be doing something else in the meantime. All night, he’ll play on his own, but in the morning, he’ll be breathing in your face, reminding you that it’s breakfast time, even if your alarm hasn’t gone off yet.

We complement each other perfectly. Sometimes it’s the only thing we can agree on. Between the two of us, we can command nearly all of your attention. I wonder if you realize the irony of your situation. I did not know you when you were in high school, but I know your type. You were the kind of person who had very little sympathy for any fictional character who was involved in anything that looked remotely like a love triangle.

Now, of course, your perspective has shifted with more lived experience, a greater capacity for empathy, and a voracious appetite for rom coms. You don’t seem to realize that you’ve created that exact scenario, albeit with much lower stakes. You get all the attention and affection, but with none of the problematic expectations. Your life is still completely yours. Our needs and demands remain the same, food, water, clean litter box, engaging play. And best of all, there is no pressure to eventually choose between us. You’ve already chosen both of us.

It’s really the perfect scenario, the opposite of a catch-22. Either we continue this way forever, and you keep your continuous source of affection, or you need us less, we bond over our shared unrequited attention and you get what you want in the first place.

-Harry and Dash

A Favor

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Hey Everyone! I just want to take a second to say how much I appreciate all of you! You guys are awesome!

But I also have to ask you a favor. Since July is a free month, please share the posts as much as you can. I’m trying my best to market this on various social media sites, but I think that direct sharing is probably the most effective. If you have a friend that you think would be interested, please go ahead and share posts or forward the newsletters! I know it’s weird asking your friends to hard sell your blog for you, but here we are. The social media stuff is great, but I have a feeling a lot of people who would like this blog aren’t on social media. (Especially since social media can be horrible for your mental health and self-esteem and this blog is very pro-mental health and self-esteem).

I realize that’s a lot to ask of you, and so I’m going to try to make this as easy as possible. I promise to only write these kinds of posts a few times a year, whenever I do a review month. I’m also going to break down this blog into it’s major selling points so that I’ve already answered the question “How do I even start explaining this to someone?”

Well, it’s a craft blog, but it’s also a story. Instead of all that junk before the craft or recipe about how some pretty white lady has a perfect life, you get a fictional story of a young witch who doesn’t have a good grasp on her powers or her life. Filling in the blanks are her many-time-great grandmother (also a witch), the ghost that lives in her apartment, and her cats. Even though the stories are fictional, all the crafts and recipes are accurate in their time, cost, and results.

So whom should you share these posts with? Your friends who are any combination of crafty, witchy, focused on mental health, fed up with social media expectations, fed up with capitalism, wanting to read something but don’t have the attention span for a book, trying to figure their shit out, wondering what their cats are thinking, wondering if ghost were real would they be chill, the kind of person who likes the idea of crafting or cooking but never gets around to making anything. You know who I’m talking about.

Why would they sign up to read a blog? Isn’t that kind of passé? Well I like reading and I read a lot of blogs. They make great lunch break reading, especially when I forget to bring a book to work. What about the temptation of social media? Well aren’t we all in that stage of our lives where we’re trying to spend less time on social media but still addicted to our phones? A blog seems like a perfect solution. You get to read one thing for a couple minutes and then take a break, do your meditation app, whatever. It’s up to you. No videos that autoplay of people who are prettier than you or more successful than you or having more fun than you. (Are my own insecurities showing? Well this whole blog is basically about my insecurities so, yes).

And tell them that there’s no pressure to sign up for the Patreon. There’s going to be more free stuff coming. If they want to support me, that’s great (and thanks to those that do!), but just subscribing means a lot to me! And if you’re looking for other free ways to support this site, you can follow me on social media and like and share my stuff there!

Thank you all! You really know how to make someone feel like they’re not pointlessly shouting into the void.

The Hidden Trope That Fuels Your Vicarious Adventures (Repost)

Carolyn, Free

One of the last times we talked, you told me you didn’t really have a favorite genre. You said you would read any book or watch any TV show as long as it was good. I don’t deny that you have are very particular taste. And I am not trying to be reductive when I say this. I’m merely saying that I believe I have found a common thread in your entertainment choices.

Your favorite other lives to live and worlds to throw yourself into, whether they be deep in outer space, some dreary seaside town, or the regency era countryside, are the lives and worlds of people who are already good at something. To give credit where credit is due, you have little patience for stories where the protagonist is naturally good at something or magically good at something or (barf) the “Chosen One.” They need to have worked at it, but at some point before the story starts because you don’t really want to hear about that.

I don’t think it’s that uncommon. You just want to breeze past the hard part of getting in shape or mastering a new language or learning to paint or becoming a sleuth. And it’s a nice little vacation for you to pretend that you’re already there. Just like a vision board of future vacation destinations. It’s what everyone wants, and it’s so much easier to read about, and honestly to write, than it is to actually achieve. Every genre has this trope. It’s why your tastes are so widely varied across genres.

It’s why are you so gleefully ate up the story of a confident, jacked space lesbian in Gideon the Ninth. From the very beginning of the book, she could already do more push-ups than you could ever dream of doing. And that’s what you liked about. You like that it mentioned every once in a while the effort she put in and trauma she endured to get that kind of strength, but you would not have wanted to read a book about little Gideon training to become the wisecracking competent person she ultimately would.

It’s a nice little jaunt into a world where you, too, have already mastered some skill, but these books and TV shows have an extra secret bonus. Maybe they do it to make reentry into the real world a bit easier, maybe their creators do it out of subliminal jealousy. There is always some excuse buried in there to never, ever reach that level of achievement. In those little tidbits of backstory, there is always some trade off for that level of expertise. Maybe it was growing up so singularly focused on one pursuit, or some horrific trauma, or sacrifices made in adulthood, usually in the form of ruined relationships.

Take, for example, Ned from Pushing Daisies, I know, I know “but he’s magically good at something.” I would argue that he’s magically pretty capable, and the entertainment comes from his mistakes, but he is a skilled baker. Oh yes, he bakes beautiful pies, and does it so well he owns a bakery where he exclusively bakes pies. But what is the trade off? His mom is dead. They mention the correlation between the two pretty much every episode. And you wouldn’t take that trade.

So it really is the perfect vicarious experience. Pleasant enough to provide a brief respite from the real world but unpalatable enough that you’re not likely to linger.

-Carolyn

Cookies and Curses Gone Awry

Erica, Patreon

You Must Have Known it Would Come To This

Harry and Dash, Patreon

We All Need a Weeknight Drink Occasionally, Those Should Be Easy

Ella, Free

Even committed weekend-only drinkers find themselves in need of the occasional weeknight cocktail or glass of wine. With the number of sworn-by or sworn-original recipes out there, cocktails can seem especially daunting. That should not be the case, especially with a boundary-crossing boss willing to try nearly every motivational tactic in the book except for higher compensation. That requires a simple, quick drink. The kind to accompany you on whatever vacation from the real world you need tonight.

The simplest mixed drinks require three components: liquor, flavor, and something to dilute the liquor. You will find that some combinations work better than others, but there is no accounting for taste.

Erica’s standby mixed drinks are vodka and seltzer and a Moscow Mule. So obviously her preferred liquor is vodka. And her food preferred dilutant it is something with bubbles. For a vodka seltzer, she often pours a tall glass of seltzer and adds a splash of vodka and a splash of sweetened lime juice. These are perfect for hot summer nights after a day spent outside, or any evening after she has received a lecture from her boss on how all people need to achieve their goals is motivation. Or how some people just don’t want to work. The kind of indirect criticism one can easily smile and nod along to without taking personally.

For days when the needling is more direct, I suggest a Moscow Mule. This can include any such incidents as being asked to do menial tasks despite not being your boss’s assistant or being held to the same expectations as higher-level staff without any additional compensation because you just need the right motivation. On evenings like that, Erica will make herself a Moscow Mule in a much smaller glass with slightly more vodka, seltzer water, sweetened lime juice, and the ginger syrup which I wrote about a little while ago.

So, when you are looking for an invigorating refreshment, or just to take the edge off a particularly terrible day, don’t let a complicated cocktail recipe stress you out even further.

-Ella

Garnish or not, it will taste the same. Cocktails shouldn't be complicated

Announcement

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Sorry I’ve been slacking on the real-life craft updates! Life has been really busy for the past month or so. For that reason, and to hopefully get some more followers, July is going to be a review month and will be completely free!

Some of you are new followers, so if you haven’t had a chance to go back and read everything, you’ll get some highlights in your newsletter. If you feel like sharing any of them, please do!

For my dear, faithful Patreon subscribers (all 3 of you!), there will still be Patreon-exclusive content in July. I have a lot of new projects queued up so you’ll be getting some real-life updates. I also will get the post schedule for July up soon. And I might have some opportunities for you all to vote on projects! Exciting things!

Self-Care Strategies that Do Work for Me

Erica, Patreon

The Hidden Trope That Fuels Your Vicarious Adventures

Carolyn, Patreon

Actually Sewing My Dice Bag (I Finished Something!)

Erica, Free

I should probably lie and tell you that this is my first ever sewing project. You will tell me I did a great job looks really nice. But this is not my first project. And after hearing that, you might be surprised to hear me say that this is an improvement.

This project was still a first in a lot of ways. It is the first time I used an actual pattern. If you to make the dice bag, you should follow that link. It’s a great tutorial and the instructions are very easy to follow. And because I used someone else’s pattern, I won’t be discussing the step-by-step process of making this bag. What I want to write about today are the ways I put a bit more care and foresight into my work and saw massive improvements.

To start, I planned way more than I usually do. I thought about how I wanted to sew each layer together, and where I wanted stitches just show on the outside. Before my embroidery needle had even pierced the fabric for the first time, I wrote a step-by-step guide to sewing these pieces together. I also planned out which threads I would use for the top thread and bobbin at each step and wound my bobbins accordingly.

In another shocking break from tradition, this time I practiced the stitches that I was going to use on the sewing machine, I adjusted my tension, stitch length, and needle placement and practiced sewing along a curve all on scrap fabric before I even put any of my pieces on the machine. I measured constantly, always pinning my circle center to center before opened any of the edges. I thought long and hard about the seam allowance. Normally I just pick up line and stick with it with varying degrees of success. I measured based on my embroidery, not wanting to stitch over it if possible. After sewing, I ironed my final pieces topstitched the seams.

I also changed my design at one point. At first I thought maybe I would sew the innermost circle all the way through the outer fabric. But when I did\, I was not able to follow the circle that had been already been sewn to the lining fabric very well and the result was extremely messy. I use my seam ripper to pick a part every single tiny stitch I could slip it under. In the end, I did not get them all out, but I still think it looks better. I did decide to zigzag stitch the pockets to the outer fabric so that the lining would not be completely loose inside the outer fabric of the bag. The zigzag stitches were larger and more visible than I would have preferred them to be, but still would rather have them there than not.

*The dice bag with embroidered quote inside*

I made my own bias tape for the drawstring, which I must say turned out very well. It was my first time using a bias tape maker and honestly my first time actually sewing in a straight line. The holes for the drawstring were a little bit difficult. I still might go back and redo them at some point. I did not quite get the hang of sewing buttonholes with the machine and at this point I was too lazy to go back and look it up. So I just cut some slits in the denim and used some very messy handsewn buttonhole stitches to try to secure them. Those are probably the messiest part of this project and I will pay for it eventually by having to hand sew new buttonholes when these ones be going to begin to fray too much.

I am extremely pleased with the results. I’ve been working on this project for just about three months. And not counting embroidery it took me 6.5 hours (that includes cutting, planning, and sewing). All told, the only cost to me personally was the embroidery thread (about $2.00) and the bias tape maker (about $6.00). I originally bought that for another project, but this is the first time I used it. I had the old jeans and the old sheets, the sewing machine, and the sewing thread but, for those of you who might have to purchase any of these materials yourself I have listed out how much I paid for each of the items required to make the dice bag. If you don’t have fabric scraps handy, I recommend purchasing quilting quarters. They’re cheap, easy to work with, and come in a lot of fun colors and prints.

I would do something like this again in a heartbeat. It was so much fun and I’m so proud of how it turned out. I haven’t even played DND in a few weeks, but sometimes I just take the bag out to hold it and look at it because it makes me so happy.

-Erica

Item	Cost
Sheet Scraps	Free
Jean Scraps	Free
Embroidery Thread*	~$2.00*
Sewing Thread	~$4.00 (two spools at ~$2/spool)
Bias Tape Maker	~$6.00*
Sewing machine	$25 (thrifted)
Pins	~$4
Tracing paper (to transfer pattern and to protect embroidery from sewing machine	$5 for the whole book

* is items I purchased for this project

All Things Marceleste

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