Or at least, choose your own arbitrary moment to start something new.
I did it again. I fell for the oldest trick in the book. I hoped that a single arbitrary moment in the infinite passage of time would completely change me as a person. My New Year’s Resolutions were lofty, and naive. There is so much I want to change, but so much that is also outside of my control. RIght after the new year, work picked up and I had to work a bunch of overtime. All the overtime made me sick, and even though I’m better, I’m still just tired.
So, I came up with some … I don’t know …. I don’t want to call them resolutions. I guess some long-term, gradual goals that will hopefully help me feel like I’m accomplishing something and help me have a more positive outlook on life.
- Keep working on this swatchbook. I’m really enjoying learning all these new stitches. Eventually, I’ll make a cover and move on to bigger projects that involve these stitches, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m done. I’ll be building my repertoire as long as I’m knitting.
- Obligatory less screen time goal. But I’m not going to look at the numbers. That has never worked for me. What I’ve realized is that I turn to things like the TV and my phone when I’m feeling overwhelmed, but they also overwhelm me. The antidote to being overwhelmed isn’t to choose what overwhelms me, but to break things down into smaller tasks and remove stimuli until I feel better. I’m going to try to internalize that.
- Exercise more often, but in smaller amounts. Obviously, exercise is a very personal thing, and I’m not unique in having a fraught relationship with it. I have a lot of trouble establishing a consistent routine because I get either sick or exhausted so easily. I want to get a simple routine that at least gets me moving every day to help me through those periods instead of hoping they will go away.
- Identify the barriers when I feel stuck. I get stuck so easily. Either I feel overwhelmed, or I’m tired, or not feeling well, or it actually is something external that I have to deal with but don’t want to. Sometimes it’s as simple as telling myself “you’re just tired, go to bed.” or “you don’t have to clean, just change the litter boxes.” But other times, it’s more complicated. If I take a second to think “What specific obstacle am I facing now?” and focus on that, rather than the larger end goal, maybe I won’t feel as overwhelmed.
How is it that I’m feeling more hopeful for the year in February after a truly awful January? I don’t know. I just hope (lol) that I can keep it up!
-Erica
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