Stockinette stitch

Stockinette Stitch: I can’t job search right now

Erica, Free

My last post made it abundantly clear that I’m unhappy. In a big way. And my job is driving me crazy. Which begs the question, why am I making time to practice knitting stitches I already know instead of job searching? 

The short answer is because I don’t feel like myself right now and I don’t want to job search when I don’t feel like myself. The long answer is I’m afraid that if I job search when I can’t get excited about anything, much less feign excitement about a job I don’t want and my embellished accomplishments will just land me at another shitty job where I’m underpaid, overworked, and stuck doing emotional labor for an incompetent man child running an inherited business. That was a mouthful. 

Normally, I get back to feeling like myself by doing a big creative project. But because of the vicious cycle of my job sucking all my energy, which keeps me from anything creative that might give me more energy, that’s just not going to happen. That’s why I’m spending a week knitting a tiny swatch of a stitch I learned 15 years ago. I’m not doing a lot, but at least I’m doing something. 

And on the actual crafting front, I am relearning to manage my tension, keep my stitches even, and count rows. All useful skills for when I eventually work on a larger project. 

-Erica

Starting Simple with the Garter Stitch

Erica, Free

Sometimes it’s good to start out with something familiar. I began this project to learn new stitches, but I also haven’t knitted for a long time. Beginning with a stitch I already know, the most basic knitting stitch, helped me regain the feeling of the needles in my hands, the yarn tension, and the feeling of relaxation knitting brings me. 

I originally assumed I could make one swatch per night, but it ended up taking me a couple days to finish this one and that’s okay. I remind myself that I’m also trying to take better care of myself too. Sometimes it’s all I can do when I get home from work to eat dinner and go to bed. 

Things have been especially crazy lately. We took on a contract for a large company and we are not able to fulfill the orders as they come in. My boss has put it on me to assuage all the customer complaints even though I don’t have the power to move their orders through faster or give them a discount or anything. And my boss has instituted an inbox zero policy for customer service complaints, which means I have to answer every single complaint email and voicemail by the end of the day. 

All I want to do at the end of the day is sit catatonically on the couch with tv playing in the background, but then work wins, right? So instead, I’m sitting catatonically on the couch knitting like a zombie while the tv plays in the background. Progress. 

-Erica

Beat toxic productivity with a knitting swatchbook

Erica, Free

I don’t do well in between projects. So much of my self-worth is rooted in my creativity and when I don’t have a project to focus on, all I have left to focus on is work. Which no one should have to go through. 

So what can I do when I don’t have the energy, or honestly the skills, to complete some of the more ambitious projects in my queue? I turn learning the skills into my new project. A few years ago, I made a crochet swatchbook as a way to get back into that craft. Now, I’m going to do the same with knitting. 

I purchased three skeins of cotton yarn (it’s going to be the worst to work with, I know) and a “learn to knit” kit with all the necessary tools. I have a bunch of tutorials bookmarked in my computer and my phone and I’m ready to go!

My hope is that this project will be challenging enough to be creatively fulfilling, but simple enough that it won’t add any extra stress to my life. My boss is already up my butt about all the problems at work even though he is the one who took on a contract we could not fulfill and honestly I’m just exhausted. Then, once I learn how to knit different stitches, the sweaters I want to make won’t seem so daunting. Here’s hoping!

-Erica

Your First Stalker: The Unexpected costs of a single incident

Erica, Free

One of the incidents that took me away from this blog last year was my very first stalker. While the incident in question was brief and quickly resolved, the stress and trauma lingered. Before I begin, I would like to clarify that this is for illustrative purposes only and is based solely on one young woman’s experience with a creepy neighbor leaving a weird note on her car. This is absolutely not meant to judge anyone else’s reaction to a similar situation. We all do what we must do you feel safe. This is also not meant as an invitation for advice or consolation. I have already received plenty. Anymore, especially from strangers on the Internet, would be unwelcome and extremely overwhelming.

The cost in time:

  • One hour spent frantically calling your parents asking what they would do. A note on your car is just over the line enough that you are spiraling into terrifying and dangerous possibilities. You can hear the fear in their voices too. They are 1200 miles away and cannot protect you as they feel compelled to do.
  • One night spent quietly alone in your apartment not lost but exchanged for a night of getting drunk with the friends who were kind enough to let you stay over on such short notice.
  • One morning lost to the hangover.
  • One hour of working on your ongoing issues in therapy lost to this new and terrifying situation. And asking a mental health professional how to deal with a crazy person (crazy person is not the word you use. In therapy you say “potentially dangerous” and “unstable”)
  • One hour of your afternoon of your Saturday afternoon lost to filing the police report. Crying in the police station because you did not expect the officer to be so understanding.
  • Two hours on a weekday evening pricing out doorbell cameras home alarm systems and privacy film for the windows.
  • Half an hour installing doorbell cam
  • Two hours installing alarm system
  • Four hours installing window films on all windows

Monetary cost

  • $200 doorbell cameras for front and back doors
  • $250 (on a 30% off promotion) for home security system
  • $30 a month optional monitoring for security system. Who knows how many months you will feel this is necessary?
  • $150 for privacy window film. Most important for windows the directly face your neighbor’s apartment. You want nice ones that you will enjoy looking at. You don’t want your house to feel like a prison. You’ve done nothing wrong, after all.

So there you have it. Six hundred dollars up-front and an ongoing cost of $30 a month and over 24 hours of my precious time lost to some piece of shit who at best thinks he is entitled to my attention and at worst has taken the first step down a path to putting me in physical danger.

I have not had any issues with my neighbor since the incident, but I think it is important to talk about these kinds of things so that people know they are not alone and should never be made to feel unsafe.

-Erica

New Year’s Resolution

Erica, Free

This year, my resolution is to actually be honest with myself about how my life is going. 2022 was hard and I sort of just powered through and pretended everything was okay. It wasn’t okay. I’m not okay. Things are probably going to get harder before they get better and that’s just how it is sometimes, but I don’t have to pretend like it’s easy or like it’s somehow positive.

And I’m going to be honest with myself when things are going well too. Just because I’ve been going through a tough time doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore the good moments. Those are important, and they’re what’ll keep me going. I’m not going to get so caught up in powering through that I forget to take time for myself. 

What does that mean for this blog? I don’t know. I’m not giving up on it. The posts might be different. I’ll probably focus more on mental health than the actual mechanics of crafting. And I’ll share some of the stuff that made last year kind of a nightmare. But everyone else should be the same. Anyway, hope this year is a good one.

Erica

New Year’s Resolutions I Can’t Be Bothered With

Erica, Free

Mid-February (or late February by the time I actually post this) is the glorious time of year when everyone’s New Year’s resolutions fall apart. I used to be part of that “everyone,” setting lofty expectations for myself each January only to run out of steam in six to eight weeks.

In celebration of my epiphany that I can’t make a daily habit out of anything, and trying to only leads to self-loathing, here is a list of New Year’s Resolutions I refused to make this year:

  1. Any Kind of Exercise Goal: Any kind of exercise goal. I know I feel better when I exercise. And I know I feel better when I can make a routine of it. But my schedule does not always work for goals like exercising a certain number of times per week, and any other fitness goal will end up with me overextending myself and hurting myself. So I will just stick with the knowledge that I feel better when I exercise and seize the motivation whenever I remember.
  2. The Same Thing, But with Meditation
  3. Learning a New Skill: There are so many things I hope to learn and so many options for a resolution like this, I find it overwhelming. I do hope to learn some new skills, or gain a deeper knowledge of the ones I already have.  kind of goes on this is just too much pressure and text the enjoyment out of it.
  4. Goals For This Blog: If I did pick a resolution for this, I would say to keep the posts and newsletters coming out in groups throughout the year. But as I saw last year, sometimes I really do need a break and while this blog is very important to me, it is far from the most important thing in my life or my main source of income.

What are some resolutions I did make? I do better with New Year’s resolutions when they are simple, one-off things that I just need a little extra motivation to accomplish. One of them was to get a new bedframe, which I accomplished before the end of the year (yay me!). The other will be to harness my powers so I can haunt my boss. It’s been too long and he just deserves it.

-Erica

An Update on My Life and This Blog

Erica, Free

The fact that I’ve kept up with this blog for six months is pretty astonishing, considering my apparent allergy to follow through. I was very excited to share my crafts and my story, and to give my friends a platform to share their stories as well. I began at what I thought was a reasonable pace to write my own posts, and edit, post, and market everyone else’s.

But I also have to live my life. Whether I like it or not, I have a full-time job and chores to do. I also have to do all of the crafts that I write about. And I have cats and myself to take care and a surprisingly active social life.

It seems my life has gotten busier since I started this. I learned to take pride in my abilities, perfect or not. I learned there was a ghost in my house who has a lot of opinions about the books I read and TV I watch. I tried my best to wrangle my jealousy, and with Ella’s help, successfully cursed one of my college friends. All while social distancing restrictions relaxed and work got busy again.

And I have another big change coming up. I haven’t mentioned it yet, but I’m moving. As much as I love the Marceleste and all the friends I have there, I’m sick of fighting other tenants for the laundry and I just want central air. I decided that my job is dreadful enough that I at least need those two luxuries.

So what does this mean? I’m taking a bit of a hiatus to figure out how I can better run this blog, and market it, without running myself ragged. I need to make sure I’m living a good life the rest of the tine. During this break, you might intermittently hear from other contributors. I don’t want this to be a complete break.

So what will it be like when we come back? Well first of all, we probably won’t be posting quite as often. As grateful as I am to those of you who read this blog regularly, I do want to build a larger following of subscribers. So that means less time writing posts, and more time marketing them. I’m trying to figure out better ways to direct Instagram directly back to the blog, and I’ve been thinking about (yikes) TikTok.

I’m also going to change the focus of some of the posts. At first, Ella and I we’re trying to give step-by-step recipes and craft tutorials, partially as a learning tool, and partially to attract readers. But I think we should start focusing on what makes this unique. Which is:

  1. Our stories
  2. Showing the actual cost of these projects
  3. Showing the amount of time these projects take.

Three things you won’t find on any other craft blog

So thank you, for being part of the story, and sticking with it through all the twists and turns.

-Erica

Past Project Reflection: A New Plant Home

Erica, Free

I barely mentioned the process of redoing one of my birdcages in my last post,  but both of them ended up requiring quite a bit of work. The first one was more straightforward. As I discussed last time, I sanded it down and repaint it. The second one did not require any painting, but I wanted to cut a hole in the bottom so that my lemon tree could grow up into the birdcage. This required help from a friend with power tools.

I repainted my first birdcage while still deep in the throes of a DIY blog addiction. This was my first DIY project, and I became immediately acquainted with the very unglamorous side DIY. I wanted what all the bloggers had, a light airy workspace and impressive array of power tools. But they had the benefit of being firmly established bloggers with sponsorships and, often, a second household income.

I laid out my dirty camping tarp in my dingy parking spot and got to work. At this point, I did not have any power tools. There’s no outlet near my parking spot. I took off the door of the base is by hand, which was not hard, and sanded the entire thing down by hand, which was. I primed the whole thing one night after work, trying my best not to get any dirt or cobwebs mixed in with the paint. The next night, I painted the whole thing green. A second coat went on in the morning, the fixtures were installed later in the left the afternoon. After three days of parking on the street, I was able to move the stand up to my apartment, move my car back into the parking space, and move my plants into their new home.

Eventually, my plant collection began to outgrow the first birdcage. I bought another one, this time with a plastic bottom instead of metal so that I could cut a hole in it and place the lemon tree’s pot below the cage, allowing the tree to grow up into the birdcage. I thought it would be relatively easy. My plan was to heat up a kitchen knife and stab it through the plastic to melt it (I know, a terrible idea). Once I had perforated a full circle, I would just punch out the hole in the bottom of the cage. But the plastic turned out to be much thicker than I expected. I turned to a friend who does have power tools and she brought this Dremel over to try to help me. Even with power tools the process proved to be more difficult than expected. We broke a number of product before we finally succeeded. The result is a bit sloppy but highly functional. No although that original lemon tree house died (RAD) plant collection, like a gas, has expanded to fill the space provided.

My next adventure with these cages was grow lights. The space available for the cages and the layout of my apartment meant that both cages required grow lights. I started with a pair of LED lights that simply did not provide enough light for all the plants in the cages. They were also not particularly attractive, so I looked for an option that was both functional and aesthetically appealing. With very little research, I ordered a string of cafe lights for each cage and several grow light bulbs. I thought this would be a cheaper and less-cluttered look than the number of clamp-on grow lights that I would need for all my plants.

 I was excited to see that the grow light bulbs fit in the string of cafe lights and lit up, but they immediately grew very hot. A few quick texts later to a friend who knows much more about electricity than I do and it was clear I had created a fire hazard.

Thanks to my hubris, only one string of lights was returnable. The other found a home with my sister. She uses them with the intended lightbulbs.

I returned the unopened lights and purchased a set of industrial clamp lights and put the grow lights in those. The end result is that one of my birdcages is at least somewhat like I had originally planned, although with far more wires. But my plants are happy and my cats can’t eat them. That’s all I can really ask.

-Erica