My last post made it abundantly clear that I’m unhappy. In a big way. And my job is driving me crazy. Which begs the question, why am I making time to practice knitting stitches I already know instead of job searching? 

The short answer is because I don’t feel like myself right now and I don’t want to job search when I don’t feel like myself. The long answer is I’m afraid that if I job search when I can’t get excited about anything, much less feign excitement about a job I don’t want and my embellished accomplishments will just land me at another shitty job where I’m underpaid, overworked, and stuck doing emotional labor for an incompetent man child running an inherited business. That was a mouthful. 

Normally, I get back to feeling like myself by doing a big creative project. But because of the vicious cycle of my job sucking all my energy, which keeps me from anything creative that might give me more energy, that’s just not going to happen. That’s why I’m spending a week knitting a tiny swatch of a stitch I learned 15 years ago. I’m not doing a lot, but at least I’m doing something. 

And on the actual crafting front, I am relearning to manage my tension, keep my stitches even, and count rows. All useful skills for when I eventually work on a larger project. 

-Erica

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