Dear Erica, please consider this an open declaration of our undying love and affection for you no matter how we may express it. We the undersigned Harry and Dash, your cats, have taken the most serious oath as your fierce and loyal companions until such a time as the Universe sees fit to separate us. We know you may be feeling listless and alone right now, but please let us assure you that we care about you deeply. In case you have misunderstood our intentions over the past few years, please let us clarify.

We zoom through the apartment in the middle of the night, often trampling your sleeping body because we trust you and feel comfortable around you. You are not some terrifying predator, lying in wait for us to make one wrong step. You’ll just grumble and roll over.

We snuggle with you at inconvenient times because we are telling you to slow down, enjoy life. Also you are warm and your apartment is cold.

We meow at the door or every time you cough because we want you to know we care and we want to talk to you.

We race out the door when you get home because sometimes you need a little kick to get you moving, even just a little bit. We could use some exercise too.

We’re always sniffing your eyeballs because that’s the only part of you that always always smells the same. You’re our whole world. We’re always just a tiny bit afraid we’ll lose you, so every chance we get, we have to be sure.

We try our best to keep you from getting into the shower because why would someone put such an infernal torture device as a showerhead in a perfectly good dry bathtub?

And when you get in the shower anyway, we stand guard to make sure you safely emerge.

Harry bunny kicks your legs when you’re washing dishes because he wants to protect you from the sound of silverware, but doesn’t know how. So he attacks you instead. It’s well-intentioned.

Dash throws up when he eats too fast because he’s able to be vulnerable around you. Harry eats it because he knows you like your apartment clean.

We scratch the arms of your couch to remind you that material possessions are not all there is in the world.

We stalk you like prey because at that moment, the thing we care most about in the world is hunting. And we’re choosing to hunt you. That’s a complement. And there’s no way we can take you down.

It may be unconventional, but we’re here for you, and we love you.

SIncerely,

Harry and Dash

*This post is free for introduction purposes. Starting April 1, Wednesday and Friday posts will be for Patreon subscribers

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